"That Mario is one hardcore stud. Women, men, men dressed as women, animals and monsters are ALL after a piece of the portly paesano."
This quote, brought up by mah lad *professorfandango and kept alive by ~melissaduck (on The Koopatorivm) describes pretty much what I think of Mario, relationship-wise. The guy's been paired with virtually everybody, which is no surprise considering the sheer amount of hints the games provide us about other characters having a crush on him. Nintendo really like to feed us with that kind of stuff. The Paper Mario series is pretty notorious for that, and especially the Paper Mario : The Thousand Year Door game.
For this picture, I could've gone with Goombella, but I think it's just not... right for a human to be paired with a mushroom. Of course, the Vivian and Mario pairing is still cross-species, not quite necrophilia (please kill me for bringing that up) but it's the one that looks the best in all the choices we have. That is, if we ignore the fact Vivian may be a guy, and... uh...
OK, I take it back. This couple is worse than Mario x Goombella.
LUIGI x PEASLEY The Bourgyman's level of approval:
I'm not that much of a fan of Yaoi, and I think the icon above pretty much speaks for itself on that matter. But that's funny how a small detail, like Peasley giving an item to Luigi in Mario & Luigi : Superstar Saga (don't ask me what item, I haven't played the game) sparkled the imagination of like a million yaoists and generated what we could call the most widely known Mario yaoi pairing on the Mario fanbase. Seriously, can anything else top that?
This apparently supports the idea that Luigi might be gay. No wonder why some people want to see Peasley dead.
PEACH x BOWSER The Bourgyman's level of approval:
Probably the oldest of them all, Peach and Bowser goes back all the way to the first Super Mario Bros. game, where, well, Peach gets kidnapped for the first time (duh!). How can they keep it up after more than 20 years of kidnapping?
The thing is, we never know what happens exactly when the princess is held on Bowser's castle. What they hell are they doing in here? Is the princess isolated in a cold dungeon, out of reach of the rest of the world, or is she just locked in some comfy room with the occasional visit of Bowser, trying to convince her to marry him once and for all (or whatever)? Why is he so insisting? Why the princess hasn't developed a goddamn Stockholm syndrome yet? There's too much for the imagination to come with!
I think that's what feeds the fans of this pairing. The infinite amount of situations in which the two of them can find themselves while that fat plumber's out there trying to rescue her. Still, the idea of a princess finally giving in is a bit frightening. How do you think I reacted when I saw those early screenshots of Super Paper Mario? "OMG, it's the end of the world!", I thought. And indeed, it was the end of the world. In the game. See what I mean?
YOSHI x BIRDO The Bourgyman's level of approval:
This one has been suggested to me a numerous amount of times on the first part, but the funny thing is, I didn't want to include this at first. But, there's something kinda unique about them... ONE small detail, common to the two of these, that is quite unclear: what SEX they are. Of course, everybody take it for granted that Yoshi's in fact a male, but seriously, what kind of male dinosaur lays eggs? Even though we've never seen a Yoshi lay an egg that would give birth to an actual Yoshi, how can you explain that BIOLOGICALLY? HUH?
And then there's the Birdo issue. You see, the Super Mario Bros. 2 manual states that Birdo is a male who thinks he's a female. And then come the sports games, which are supposed to contain stats about selectable characters, such as gender, and yet Birdo's gender is UNSPECIFIED? That's kinda shady, if you want my opinion. I think it's only since recently that Nintendo started to depict Birdo back as a female. Cheer up, Yoshi, everything's gonna be alright... Nintendo started to support the idea of Yoshi and Birdo being a couple way back when they made that Mario Tennis game, but it didn't take time for the fans to follow. Their designs have also grown similar to each other with time, probably for that reason.
Well, about time Yoshi gets his gi... I mean, significant other, no?
Hey, I hope you liked! Sorry if I couldn't include your favourite pairing into this 2-part series, but there is so much out there, this is just the tip of the iceberg. And typing this took me an hour an a half. Yayz.
Comments disabled because I don't need to know people's opinion on the subject. This whole thing is purely for the ARTZ and the LULZ, so don't take it too seriously please!
All the characters above belong to Nintendo!
(This image is the second of a two-part illustration series. To see the first image, go HERE.)
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More